[there's a tenuous couple moments of silence, before a telling sniff. the waterworks are kept to that short, sharp sound, though, Rin finally responding (a little thickly; it's always a little unfair feeling, that Makoto's so capable of quelling his insecurities when he actually sets his mind to it)]

Stupid, of course you can participate. [...] You're the person that -- I want you to be the one who's the most impressed. That's, that's why it hurts the most, when it seems like you aren't.

[it used to be just Haru, that Rin had his eyes on, gauging his every action and reaction. Haru's reactions are still of a high importance to him, and so are Sousuke's, but Makoto's -- pulled strangely ahead, and by no skill of his own. Makoto cares only somewhat about competition, the emphasis was always on doing something together with his friends. he's never been able to show Rin up in the water, or even most athletic endeavors. Rin wants to impress Makoto for reasons completely outside of himself and his own ambitions; he wants to impress Makoto because he loves him, and his opinion is therefore the most important one, plain and simple]

Sorry. -- I should have asked for your help, if I wanted it, instead of just waiting for you to offer. It was stupid of me not to. I just -- thought you didn't care, or something.

[there's isn't a relationship based on "mind reading," or anything so ambiguous and fallible; it's based on communication, reciprocation]