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[gnasher]

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RIP IN PIECES 08.13.15 - END GAME

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Re: sometime b4 deathversary but near to it?!111 /handwav.e..s...

[gnasher]

[living with Gou again is not how he pictured it]

[then again, Rin always pictures things sped up; he pictures the end of the lane, the final goal, the trophy ceremony. the hard work blurs, the slow incremental climb to a better version of himself (in whatever respect) is a training monologue edited in later, when he can refer to the period of trying and failing as something more graceful. living with Gou is not as he pictured it, because he's only pictured the final result -- easy conversation, easy company, kisses and hugs and shared outings and shared secrets, becoming even closer than they were as children. he wants to be the first person Gou comes to when she's worried or scared or in love, he wants to help her find her own dreams and passions, he wants to be there for her like a lighthouse beacon instead of a ship constantly leaving the harbor]

[the reality is awkwardness in sharing the bathroom, and Rin feeling guilty about not being home, and sometimes not knowing what to say at dinner. the reality is waking up too early to see her and bickering over who's gonna clean up Nike's latest catastrophe, and kicking Makoto out his bedroom window before first light. the reality is trying to balance his work, with his friends, with the centre, with his training, with his boyfriend, with his sister, and always feeling like he's coming up a little bit short in at least three categories. it's been getting easier, these past few weeks, especially with the pleasant energy of the Kaburagis around, but this is a growing period, the part Rin doesn't focus on in his dreams. Gou may be good at going with the flow, but Rin can only ever strike out on his own current, and he hasn't found his stroke yet]

[but he loves his sister, more than maybe anyone in the world, and even if this isn't what he's pictured, no one can ever say Rin Matsuoka is afraid of working hard at something he loves]

[(there is another familial connection he's been neglecting, though, and although the date doesn't escape him, there is no mark on a calendar, no plan for a commemoration, nothing)]

[in his room, Rin lifts his head when he hears a knock, and the handweights Nagisa bought him last Christmas -- he'll have to get a heavier set soon, excitingly -- are put down on the floor. he's got a workout mat spread on the carpet, some music playing at a considerately low level. he likes unwinding with weight training; he feels calmer after, like it clears his mind]

Door's open. -- Don't let Nike in if he's out there, though.

[spanned]

You're so mean to him. [she sighs with a shake of her head. if nike had been out there, she would have let him in as a rule of thumb: a pet owner isn't a halfway thing. lucky for rin matsuoka, nike is taking the rare Nap In the Kitchen at the moment, so he's safe, gou closing the door behind her with the polite click of the handle. her eyes scan the room as they usually do but not for anything specific, just to see where her brother has been for a while, what has been home. she doesn't ask before sitting on his bed, folding her legs up under her as a child might; but they aren't children of course, have not been for some time. she wonders about that rarely but when it happens she's got this sharp awareness of not feeling her own age. it doesn't bother her; it just is something she's noticed.

peering at rin, she can see the two years in him quite easily even if she cannot entirely parse the meaning.

he looks happy if not entirely comfortable.

she reaches out just enough to tug on his errant side bangs, a longer partition of red hair she knows quite well.]

Do you cut it yourself?

[it's impossible to tell from her tone if this is judgement or not, but the way she smiles only says: just curious.

on the tip of her tongue: the real reason she knocked, but no need to hurry. she'll ask in a moment. gou is not in the habit of rushing time she cherishes, after all. it's hers while it's hers and when it's not, it's not.

that's all there is to it really.]