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[gnasher]

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RIP IN PIECES 08.13.15 - END GAME

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[rhincodontidae]

so
about your new friends

attached: 20150915_1156.jpg

[gnasher]

[DANGER RIN ROBINSON]

who said we're friends?

[rhincodontidae]

i know you're friends with makoto and if you're not friends with the other one why should she care that i'm here?

[gnasher]

i told you i've been here a long time. i've told people about my life back home, that's all it is.

[rhincodontidae]

and what you told people about your life back home is that you're gay as a rainbow?

[gnasher]

[well this is about the worst text he's ever recieved in his entire life, including all the ones sent at godly hours of the night where Haru recounted his creepy, embarrassing dreams to him]

don't be stupid

[gnasher]

she's drunk and talking completely out of line. get your ex under control, jeez.

[rhincodontidae]

she's dating someone else now, they can handle it.

[rhincodontidae]

if she's just drunk shit talking and you're not friends why do you need it to be private?

[gnasher]

so i don't have to hear a bunch of annoying questions from annoying guys what's your fascination with this

[rhincodontidae]

some weird girl says weird things about you on a public network and you react weirdly, bc you didn't deny anything she said, and i'm not supposed to ask?

fine.

[rhincodontidae]

i'm going to the gym and i'm leaving my phone.

no more questions.

[gnasher]

[RING RING MOTHERFUCKER]

[rhincodontidae]

[bc of course he can't even make it out the door before that happens.]

Yeah.

[gnasher]

[it is time for yelling, as it always in Sousuke and Rin's friendship]

First of all, you got no right to be pissed with me, since I don't have to deny or confirm anything to anyone being drunk and noisy in my direction on the network! I'll say or not say whatever the hell I want to whoever the hell I want!

[gnasher]

Second of all, you should know me better than to think I'd wanna talk about -- about relationships or whatever she was on about [nice stumble] in public like that, it's totally embarrassing!

[gnasher]

It's not weird to want to avoid looking stupid! Especially in front of a guy like you! Go to the gym and drop a weight on your head, oi!

[rhincodontidae]

[Yeah, Sousuke's had the phone an inch or more away from his ear for most of this.]

I know you well enough to know you're different when you're pissed at someone being an asshole and pissed at someone for things that matter. Whatever's going on matters and you acting like it's all some big misunderstanding is what's making you look stupid.

[rhincodontidae]

And that's the only thing that's making you look stupid! You're worried about me seeing but it's not like I haven't seen you get all starry eyed talking about your friends or other relationships before [wait what].

[rhincodontidae]

So knock it off already. Since I have your blessing, I'm gonna go for a run.

[gnasher]

Knock it off already about working out, you're just trying to get the last word!

[trust Sousuke to come to the quick of things; the upper hand Rin had been clutching tightly onto immediately feels out of his grasp. it's true, no one knows him better than Sousuke Yamazaki, maybe not even Makoto, but -- ]

-- We've never talked about other relationships.

[a defensive response, but also true; he and Sousuke weren't those kinds of boys when they were kids, most interested in fighting and competing amongst themselves than talking about girls (and it turns out girls wasn't something Rin actually wanted to talk about, either, so there was that, too). it wasn't a topic that Rin didn't deflect or ignore at Samezuka, either, because -- there was so much going on, and he didn't want to pursue feelings like that, just yet. he hadn't been ready to, or ready to even talk about having them]

[rhincodontidae]

[He sure is trying, anyway, but it's not working and he can't hang up on Rin, especially not when Rin's right like that.

Sousuke's quiet for a long moment when Rin says they never talked about other relationships. Is that really... did he really have so little self awareness? Then again, they'd only been kids, but Sousuke's never forgotten.]

You left Sano for Iwatobi. For Nanase. You came back from Australia, went to Samezuka but still swam for Nanase's school. You spent your nights helping the new guy from Nanase's school. Your ultimate team was based on what happened with Nanase.

You think I was kidding when I said I get it? That you're taken with him? I was trying to start a conversation but I figure we didn't need to talk about it.

[They're hardly Nanase and Makoto but he and Rin don't always need to talk about things either. It's one of the things that he's appreciated about Rin. Sousuke can use less words and normally, Rin will understand. He's going to try one more time before just biting the bullet and spelling it out. He didn't need some random stranger on a network to tell him something he already knew but he'll be damned if, now that it's happened, he's going to let Rin think he doesn't know.]

I got it. I get it. I still get it.

[You won't deny it to someone on the network, then confirm or deny it to him, Rin.]

[gnasher]

That was about swimming! That was --

[but Sousuke has more proof than anyone, even Makoto maybe, of Rin's endless fascination with Haru. it's not fair, that Sousuke sees through him so easily, especially with so much proof on his hands. Rin can't lie to his best friend; he's never been good at lying at all]

[he concedes, in a much quieter tone than before, clearly cowed by Sousuke's calling out]

...That was, mostly about swimming. I didn't, know...

[he trails off, uncertain, because he and Sousuke don't usually need to be so explicit with one another. it's foreign and unfamiliar, but Sousuke's thoughts are correct; Rin hasn't had so much self-awareness, about this stuff, constantly assuming the worst of himself and others instead]

I didn't know what to do then. I didn't think you'd get it. -- Or Haru would.

[it's not a denial, certainly, and maybe more than he's ever admitted to anyone, as far as Haru goes (apart from the guy himself, but far too late in the game)]

[rhincodontidae]

Rin. Not even swimming is just about swimming to you.

[It's a relief to hear that Rin does at least realize that much about himself. If swimming was just about swimming, it would've been easier for Sousuke to get back into Rin's life, but swimming is everything. It's how he makes friends and remembers his father and apparently, how he falls in love.

Sousuke sighs and, against all probability, he smiles, even if Rin can't see it. Honesty. It makes things a lot easier. Especially if Rin's being honest with himself now as well as Sousuke, though it seems like he's been being honest with himself for a while now.]

I wasn't sure till the end. Till you took him back to Australia with you. Even then, it wasn't gonna be real till you let it be.

[Because if Rin stayed in denial forever, then it didn't matter how obvious it was to Sousuke. No matter how much it hurt when Rin and Nanase left and came back. Sousuke's pain wasn't enough to make it real. Rin was the only one who could do that.

None of that's in Sousuke's voice now, though. He came to terms with that--with Nanase's place in Rin's life--long before getting here. One honest admission deserves another.]

I'm glad you two are getting it figured out here.

[gnasher]

[it's true; for Rin, everything begins and ends with swimming to such an extent that it'd made Sousuke question his place in Rin's life without it. it's the kind of single-minded focus that makes his dream of becoming an Olympic swimmer possible, but it tends to complicate his personal life into a tangled mess of swimming and everything else. friends, family, love, the future, his career, his image of himself, his goals and hobbies -- everything comes back to the water. it's something he and Sousuke had in common, once, but things have shifted. they've had to grow feet to walk on land, and some stumbling is bound to happen]

[however, what Sousuke's just stumbled onto is a more sensitive issue than he realises; it's therefore a kind of uneasy blurt that bursts from Rin]

We didn't. Figure it out, I mean. Well, I did years ago, but he --

[messy, messy; Rin takes an audible breath, trying to straight out the words in his mind. the feelings he has for Haru, both dormant and remaining, are hard to admit. he's kept it from even Makoto, that his feelings for Haru had once been so overwhelming as to break and make his heart]

With everything happening, and how I'd just gotten, everything back... [the painful image of Rin failing to raise himself from the pool seems to loom; he was too raw, after that relay, to want to put anything to chance] I didn't want to mess anything up. And then two years ago [it's only this year, for Sousuke] he wasn't -- after the trip to Australia, I thought, maybe, but I was going away, and I still wasn't sure if he felt...

[disjointed as it is, this is more confession than he's given anyone, and he suddenly wishes he were face to face with Sousuke, but it's too late now]

And then suddenly we were here, and he kept coming and going and not remembering anything we did, and then finally when he stuck around for a while he didn't say anything until after I was -- already dating someone. [a pause, because it's more than that] Someone I really fell for.

[an exhale, Rin clearly awkward and nervous about sharing all this stuff he's kept to himself for months -- maybe years. the story seems to parallel a common theme, between Rin and Haru; bad timing, high emotion, and misunderstanding]