gnasher | 1495 inbox ✘ hollyheights [ CLOSED ]

[RING RING]

Hi! --weren't you busy? I don't want to take up your time.

I can spare a couple minutes.

[it's a bit clipped -- he's still smarting over something -- but apparently it's not enough to stop him from asking]

You're not giving up, are you?

[choked out (he was surprised)]

O-of course not! I don't want to give up...

Alright. Then you've got to come up with a way to handle disrespectful, unmotivated students, right?

[it's not accusative; rather, the voice of someone who knows what a pain in the ass it is directing people who won't stop goofing off or don't necessarily think you belong in charge. captaining Iwatobi wasn't really anything like captaining Samezuka, a place where Rin did nothing but burn bridges for a year and make no contacts. there's a difference between overseeing one's friends, and overseeing underclassmen]

Some guys can get competitive. With guys from the baseball team, like that punk Kazuya, I'd work on stirring some of that up.

[his response is, initially, quiet, because it's clear rin has more to say despite the given pause for thought.]

You know I don't like confrontation...

[and, besides, the reason makoto contacted rin in the first place is because he wanted rin's help. makoto knows rin has had more experience in this kind of thing; in dealing with a rowdier crowd and making himself respected by others.]

Hn... I should have made it competitive after all? I could try that next time. I want to be able to help them a little in working towards improving in their own sports, too. --do you think you, [uhm, hesitation, voice lowering a bit] could help me, think of something some time...?

[whatever's eating Rin would never be important enough to be there for Makoto when he needs him, whether it's for his skill set or emotional support -- or both]

Yeah, of course. I would have offered, I just thought Nitori was helping you.

[though, now that he's thinking about it without rose coloured glasses (friends helping friends, what could be better?)... Nitori wasn't really going to come into his own about being authoritative under Makoto's leadership as it stood now. they might be learning together, if anything]

Oh, no, Nitori-kun's helping me with coaching at the sports centre. Gym class is something I'm taking up on my own.

[besides, let's be real, makoto doesn't really see nitori at the same level as rin or haru or sousuke or even kisumi. this is an unfortunate reality that makoto fixates on, big brother that he is, in establishing roles for those around him.]

[an acknowledging hum, and then he continues]

Well, it's fine to ask me, then.

Thank you...

[...]

[something feels infinitely wrong here.]

Uh, Rin?

Yeah? -- Give me some time to come up with some strategies for your students, if you're about to formally ask, or something.

I was going to ask you later, maybe after dinner tonight. I wanted to think about it on my own first and then ask for your feedback.

[--but that's not the point. focus, makoto.]

I was just wondering... uhm, well, it sounds like something is bothering you. Was it something I said earlier?

[there's a (rather telling) silence, and then Rin says, a bit increduously]

You're kidding, right?

[definitely did something]

--about the mud race?

Yeah, about the mud run, you were a total jerk!

["but i'm participating"]

[begone, words that will only make things worse]

Okay, I'm sorry. I'll still train with you some times if you want me to? I thought you were going to go with Sousuke from the start, or maybe even Momo or Nitori.

It's not about the training!

[well]

-- Mostly, anyway. It's just -- [but he struggles, cutting off]

Mostly?

[...]

Or was it the birthday reaction?

It was the shitty reaction to this thing I've been busting my ass on!

[whoops, too loud]

Oi, how would you like it if I made you feel like what you were doing at the school or the shop didn't matter one way or another to me? Drop out if it's like that, I don't want to race with someone who doesn't want to be there!

I do want to be there though! I'm sorry if it sounded like I don't want to, but I'm really looking forward to it! I was even thinking of dropping by in the afternoons to help you guys with building things.

[erm] ...was my reaction really terrible?

[an aggravated noise; he doesn't feel heard, and he doesn't believe Makoto's being all that truthful. his first, thoughtless reactions seem much more genuine than trying to make up for treading on feelings he still doesn't seem to understand]

Forget it. Do what you want.

I'm--

[maybe rin expected more than what makoto tends to deliver. he does feel bad about this though.]

Rin, if I've upset you, you have to let me know when I've done so. Isn't that the point of us being together? I don't want to keep upsetting you.

I'm not upset!

[maybe they're overdue for a fight; maybe Rin has just put too much weight on his actions and plans for the centre, lacking any ability to attain his real goal. lukewarm reception, from this person in particular, makes all his efforts feel -- like lukewarm actions]

But, you're unhappy with me, then?

I guess.

[clamping up; he gets frustrated too easily, with people who aren't Sousuke, frankly, when he isn't understood]

1495 inbox ✘ hollyheights [ CLOSED ]

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