gnasher | 1495 inbox ✘ hollyheights [ CLOSED ]

Mm. [abrupt, short silence; he can't help but feel a little bit awkward, but he bustles past that with nosiness, peering at that terribly sad basket] -- Momo goes nuts for fettucini alfredo, if you really wanna blow his mind. It's basically as easy as making regular pasta.

[turning, he takes Makoto by the hand]

It's kind of high cal, but I can always make him swim a bunch of laps to burn it off.

[makoto follows, not quite sure he trusts his own ability in the kitchen]

I've never tried doing that before! Maybe if you--send me the recipe I can try and replicate it. Is it a simple one?

[sometimes, it's hard to tell whether makoto is bad at cooking because he's lazy or because he's just plain unknowledgeable about cooking itself. but at least he's willing to give it a try, albeit preferring to have someone supervising. blame his mother for making him get used to this.]

Rin...? Are we still going to talk about moving?

[Rin's hand suddenly tightens around Makoto's, and the pasta recipe is put on the back burner]

Um -- yeah. [another stilted silence as they pass through a row of nuts and trail mix, and Rin blurts] Sorry, I do want to, talk about it, but I don't really know how to start.

[Makoto might actually recognise this behaviour -- it's the same kind of way Rin tends to act about growing more "intimate" in general, struggling with words even as he desperately wants to do or say something]

-- You changed your mind.

I think it's because you changed your mind and told me about it, first.

[makoto stops and smiles, soothing thumbrubs on rin's hand, tight around his own. of course makoto recognises this behaviour--it's hard not to, with being in a relationship with rin and all. he's also found that the best way to go about it is to be supportive, speak calmly, and be as honest as possible--teasing kept to a minimum.]

It sounds really nice. Getting to live with you. --it's somehow not so scary this time around? I feel like I know what I want with more certainty.

[a huff goes unnoticed to Makoto's first statement, Rin scanning the shelves for the pasta section. Makoto doesn't need to buy cheap crap like that, shitty ingredients just led to a shitty meal and shitty health]

[he has to admit, it makes him feel really good, that Makoto's got a direction he feels confident in, and it's towards him]

I'm not scared, either. I just hadn't thought about, you know... Gou, and everything, yet...

[ambiguous trailing off, which he realises might be alarming, and rushes to add]

I do want to, too. At least I know you'd be eating the right stuff.

[as he seizes a new kind of pasta from the shelf, replacing Makoto's cruddy chef boyardee bullshit]

[he wasn't eyeing this beefaroni can or anything--]

Oh, yeah, I thought about that. Getting to eat meals prepared by you every day would be a dream. I'm getting a little tired of frozen pizza...

[makoto is even being 100% honest]

[he waits a moment, considering whether he should tell rin he's spoken with gou about it, and that she actually wondered why they weren't living together already; if that isn't support, what is? but instead, makoto tugs rin's hand to keep him from moving away from his aisle. at least until they're done talking about this proper, bagged farfalle, penne, and wheat tagliatelle their less-than stellar audience]

Well, Gou would come with. Wouldn't she? I don't want you guys not living together, or making you choose between your family or me.

Edited 2015-08-18 21:57 (UTC)

[Rin's stopped just beyond a stack of gluten-free angel hair, and he realises Makoto doesn't want to brush this moment off. he stops looking for dinner, and starts looking at his boyfriend, instead]

[teeth appear at his bottom lip, biting down on the corner, leaving not-so-subtle indents]

I don't want to choose between you two. But, don't you think she'd feel, I don't know... awkward, or, like it's not somewhere she can be comfortable, 'cuz you're around, or, we're around...

[and there's another thing Makoto might be used to; Rin second guessing the relationship between he and Gou until he comes to the conclusion she's better off without his intrusion, whatever it is]

[a pause, Rin adding]

Oi, we'd take turns cooking. I'm not your mum. -- Or your wife.

If you help me with cooking I'll be glad to take over once in a while. At least until I have a few recipes properly mastered.

[makoto's boyfriend is an idiot. a funny, embarrassing idiot, but for some reason that kind of statement made him really happy.]

[(taking turns cooking, the implied domesticity of it all)]

Besides...

[makoto swings their arms a bit, voice quieting]

Have you asked Gou how she would feel about it...? [hopefully his smile won't be telling that makoto did, he's trying to keep this to himself for a while longer.] Rin, you're always assuming things about Gou. It's alright, but it's not the healthiest way to go around it--perhaps if you asked her, she might surprise you with her answer.

[that being said]

She'll turn eighteen sometime, too.

Haah? Would that make me my sister's wife?

[an unexpected veer off-course; what is Rin going to do, when Gou turns 18? if they're still both here, he'd have to be with her, wouldn't he? would she want him there?]

[he seems to realise what he's just said and flushes]

Not that I don't want to live with you! But, on her own, she might not --

[a pause, Rin seeming to realise that]

-- Ah. Ah... I'm doing it again, huh.

Edited 2015-08-19 01:50 (UTC)

Why wife?

[head tilt. confused look.]

What? Shut up, it's because I just said -- I'm not cooking for you tonight if you keep this shit up!

[he said, sounding.. like a wife...........?]

[makoto sighs, and maneuvers to get his phone out of his pocket while keeping hold on rin's hand and propping the basket closer to his elbow; unlocks it, taps around the screen, and checks text conversations for GOU MATSUOKA]

[he scrolls up, to this conversation, and hands the phone over.]

Have a look.

[and only now, does he let go of rin's hand, so that rin can take the phone.]

Edited 2015-08-19 01:58 (UTC)

Huh? [he takes the phone, though he keeps talking, thinking this is probably just another cat picture to calm him down, which is a gambit he fully understands, but doesn't mind becoming subject to] Asking Gou something like that would be a mistake, wouldn't it? She'd say she was alright with it even if she wasn't...

[Rin isn't blind to the fact that his sister has a history of taking one on the chin for his happiness; he doesn't feel good about that history, and constantly enabling it]

[however, what's on the phone is not cat pics, and a complicated sort of emotion passes over his face seeing what it is. it's not quite as severe as betrayal, but it's a kind of off-guard, annoyed look]

You -- you asked her...?

[and she said "i'm kind of surprised you hadn't already..."? that didn't seem like taking it on the chin at all, did it?]

[but Rin keeps scrolling, and a careful hope starts to peek through, until]

You talked to my sister about us doing what couples do?

Just... keep reading, okay?

[Makoto receives a look not for the faint of heart, and does as instructed, until he reaches another bombshell]

Do you think he'd understand I'm not "pure" better if i had a boyfriend! What the fuck, Makoto!

I can't control what your sister asks... or says, you know... I can only try to diffuse the situation to the best of my ability...

[Rin is definitely getting too worked up to be next to labels that display cute bunches of spaghetti feeding families of four and stereotypical Italian chefs; colour rushes to his face in a mix of agitation and embarrassment, seeing this glimpse into how Makoto and his sister talk to one another]

[he eventually reaches the end, and shoves the phone back at Makoto not very gently, despite the overall good news; that Gou wouldn't mind living with them]

I know she's not a kid, and I don't think she's, pure, either! Don't just make shit up! Neither of you knows what you're talking about!

[a huff, and untethered and peeved, Rin starts making his way down the aisle again forcefully]

Rin--

[between makoto shoving his phone back into his pocket and readjusting himself after rin basically scolding him, the other has already got some distance on him.]

[makoto sighs again, and follows, impertinently, because he doesn't want this conversation to once again remain unfinished.]

I'm sorry if it's not true, but we never actually finish our conversation about this and what it would be like to live with Gou, with us as a couple. I'm left to assume you're worried about her purity, or something like that, or maybe think that you think we're embarrassing? Rin... hey, wait up!

[makoto might look a little Hurt]

[after a few more feet (hello ramen noodles, goodbye ramen noodles), Rin runs out of steam, and allows for his boyfriend to catch up with him. he's bailed on this conversation before because he was unsure, and now he's bailing because he's mad, but in each case -- he's left Makoto in the dark. he can't be angry at him, for drawing his own conclusions]

...I don't think we're embarrassing. You don't get it.

[which sounds cutting, but he goes on to clarify]

After my dad died --

[words that don't belong in a supermarket, for sure (but then, didn't they talk about Australia for the first time, in the Happy Tomato?)]

-- things changed with us. You're not just, a brother, anymore, after something like that.

[too young, he had to step up in ways he never had before -- and even knowing better, then failed to continue doing so, lost without his dad in his own ways]

I've been really selfish with her. I haven't, done anything, right. I don't want to make her feel like... she's unwanted, or, getting in the way, or just along for the ride. I don't know if I'd be able to, be myself around you, with her around, too. [and with an aching kind of truthfulness] She got one thing right, I guess. I'm, kind of, uncomfortable, with it.

Edited 2015-08-19 02:42 (UTC)

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening

Re: text the heckening