gnasher | 1495 inbox ✘ hollyheights [ CLOSED ]

should i come over/>? should this be in person

what?? no!!
just imagine me asking something like this! holding your hands and looking at each other
that's too embarrassing!!
......do you want to talk about it in person??

[RING RING]

[he's dead]

[he almost doesn't answer it, but decides against it last minute]

He... hey. [cough] Hello.

Sorry, it was just, too weird to text about this stuff...

[at least he doesn't have to look at the words obsessively after he says/hears them]

But now I have to say it outloud... [quietly]

Well, if we can't talk about it, what's the chances we won't be too embarrassed to do it?

I don't know. I don't--care if we do it while we're here, or after Australia. I really don't...

[he really doesn't]

I just--wanted to make a request... for whenever...

O-okay. I mean, okay, to making it, obviously I wanna know what it is, before...

[sweatin. why can he never keep up with Makoto in these things?]

[how do you say 'i want ur d in me' without being absolutely embarrassing about it. makoto never thought this far.]

[silence, and]

Remember we, uhm, talked about this a bit last year? Kind of like, positions and... logistics... I guess? Do you remember?

Yeah...?

[straight faces this]

I want my first time with Rin, to be with Rin. [??]

You, uhm, you know.

You, doing it first?

[quiet, muffled]

We'd be doing it tog -- eehh, eh...

[ther. oh. he gets it]

A-are you sure? You don't, have to, do that kind of thing! For me!

I'm really sure!

[that's all he'll say, in an embarrassed, speechless stupor]

Really sure...

[ah...]

I trust you, and I--love you.

This sounds really stupid outloud, you know...?

It doesn't! It's fine, I, just didn't think... you'd want to do that...

I love you and trust you too. So I was always fine with it, with it either way.

Shit, not fine with it -- ! You know, what I mean. [except he won't, if you don't say it] -- I mean, I like the idea of, of either way. I want it.

[this is relieving somehow, to hear rin say it back, even if makoto knew it.]

Hm, well, I mean, I don't mind. --but I just thought, our first time together, right? Ah, if it turns out the other way, it'll still be just as special, I know that. It's not urgent either! I really like what we're doing right now. --not right now, but, lately...

We'll do it the way you want. [some more confidence, but then he has to make sure] If that's really what you want, and you're not just... [he trails off, because he's not sure how to say this diplomatically towards both of them] ...trying to, I don't know, protect me or something... b-because I've done that kind of stuff, a little bit, every once in a while, so it's not, ah...

Edited 2015-11-09 08:31 (UTC)

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