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RIP IN PIECES 08.13.15 - END GAME
INBOX CLOSED
RIP IN PIECES 08.13.15 - END GAME
[never in his life has he wanted to get a text from his sister like this]
[so, maybe he's dead? maybe he didn't turn in time, during his last lap, and cracked his head open in the pool?]
[dead would be preferable to alive when it comes to receiving a text like this, that's all]
[so, maybe he's dead? maybe he didn't turn in time, during his last lap, and cracked his head open in the pool?]
[dead would be preferable to alive when it comes to receiving a text like this, that's all]
hey rin
it's me italy
i miss you how are you
i just invited makoto
and i would like you to come as well
we're having a dinner party at the park this saturday
for germany's and my households
and would really like it if you came too
and friends are welcome as well
it's me italy
i miss you how are you
i just invited makoto
and i would like you to come as well
we're having a dinner party at the park this saturday
for germany's and my households
and would really like it if you came too
and friends are welcome as well
[ if their father lived gou does not know how different things would be. it falls under the category of unfathomable not because she does not wish for it (she does, quietly in that way people make impossible wishes not because they anticipate receiving them but because they are honest heart thoughts) but because she simply cannot imagine. the brother she knows now -- who has changed, grown, become so much.
so much.
she thinks their father would be proud. he would have all the pride gou has already -- love in steady beats, the reliability of being able to laugh after terrible things have happened, the transparency of being able to cry if one needs to. there is a saying for it: the heart on the sleeve or some such.
rin is like that. gou is like it in another way. matsuokas.
not long ago she stood with her brother at their father's gravestone and knelt. the breeze was soft, carding through their red hair like whispers, and the sun too had a gentleness unlike the rather brutal heat found here. for some time in the month gou found herself turning all sorts of colors, and alarm quickly became amusement when she realized the rainbow effect had no otherwise apparent results. ordinary again, yet if she wasn't, as she treads to her brother's room, hand raised to knock, she might be a pale blue -- the color of quiet.
it doesn't hurt the way it used to and some of this is just growing up -- the agency of being able to do things, to change things, to move forward which makes history less horrible. losing someone will never be okay but treating it differently can be.
she thinks they've come a long way if on different paths.
i hope mom is okay, she thinks to herself and knocks twice. rin is home; she knows, ate a low-dialogue dinner with him before they separated as per usual to do their own things. but she can't ignore the approaching date and wants to ask anyway:
what have you done here?
and depending on his answer to that, a follow up:
well, what do you want to do?
they can. together.
sometimes it's hard for her to remember their father. if anything still actively upsets gou about his death, it's that: the nagging worry that someday he'll be all imaginings and nothing concrete but she refuses to let herself be held back by could-be situations. day by day. year by year. she'll figure it out. as she waits outside her brother's door, she almost leans her forehead against it.
she's been tired, strangely. blame the heat maybe. summer cold oncoming maybe. well, it's hard to rest when it always feels so warm -- even inside. ]
so much.
she thinks their father would be proud. he would have all the pride gou has already -- love in steady beats, the reliability of being able to laugh after terrible things have happened, the transparency of being able to cry if one needs to. there is a saying for it: the heart on the sleeve or some such.
rin is like that. gou is like it in another way. matsuokas.
not long ago she stood with her brother at their father's gravestone and knelt. the breeze was soft, carding through their red hair like whispers, and the sun too had a gentleness unlike the rather brutal heat found here. for some time in the month gou found herself turning all sorts of colors, and alarm quickly became amusement when she realized the rainbow effect had no otherwise apparent results. ordinary again, yet if she wasn't, as she treads to her brother's room, hand raised to knock, she might be a pale blue -- the color of quiet.
it doesn't hurt the way it used to and some of this is just growing up -- the agency of being able to do things, to change things, to move forward which makes history less horrible. losing someone will never be okay but treating it differently can be.
she thinks they've come a long way if on different paths.
i hope mom is okay, she thinks to herself and knocks twice. rin is home; she knows, ate a low-dialogue dinner with him before they separated as per usual to do their own things. but she can't ignore the approaching date and wants to ask anyway:
what have you done here?
and depending on his answer to that, a follow up:
well, what do you want to do?
they can. together.
sometimes it's hard for her to remember their father. if anything still actively upsets gou about his death, it's that: the nagging worry that someday he'll be all imaginings and nothing concrete but she refuses to let herself be held back by could-be situations. day by day. year by year. she'll figure it out. as she waits outside her brother's door, she almost leans her forehead against it.
she's been tired, strangely. blame the heat maybe. summer cold oncoming maybe. well, it's hard to rest when it always feels so warm -- even inside. ]
[living with Gou again is not how he pictured it]
[then again, Rin always pictures things sped up; he pictures the end of the lane, the final goal, the trophy ceremony. the hard work blurs, the slow incremental climb to a better version of himself (in whatever respect) is a training monologue edited in later, when he can refer to the period of trying and failing as something more graceful. living with Gou is not as he pictured it, because he's only pictured the final result -- easy conversation, easy company, kisses and hugs and shared outings and shared secrets, becoming even closer than they were as children. he wants to be the first person Gou comes to when she's worried or scared or in love, he wants to help her find her own dreams and passions, he wants to be there for her like a lighthouse beacon instead of a ship constantly leaving the harbor]
[the reality is awkwardness in sharing the bathroom, and Rin feeling guilty about not being home, and sometimes not knowing what to say at dinner. the reality is waking up too early to see her and bickering over who's gonna clean up Nike's latest catastrophe, and kicking Makoto out his bedroom window before first light. the reality is trying to balance his work, with his friends, with the centre, with his training, with his boyfriend, with his sister, and always feeling like he's coming up a little bit short in at least three categories. it's been getting easier, these past few weeks, especially with the pleasant energy of the Kaburagis around, but this is a growing period, the part Rin doesn't focus on in his dreams. Gou may be good at going with the flow, but Rin can only ever strike out on his own current, and he hasn't found his stroke yet]
[but he loves his sister, more than maybe anyone in the world, and even if this isn't what he's pictured, no one can ever say Rin Matsuoka is afraid of working hard at something he loves]
[(there is another familial connection he's been neglecting, though, and although the date doesn't escape him, there is no mark on a calendar, no plan for a commemoration, nothing)]
[in his room, Rin lifts his head when he hears a knock, and the handweights Nagisa bought him last Christmas -- he'll have to get a heavier set soon, excitingly -- are put down on the floor. he's got a workout mat spread on the carpet, some music playing at a considerately low level. he likes unwinding with weight training; he feels calmer after, like it clears his mind]
Door's open. -- Don't let Nike in if he's out there, though.
[then again, Rin always pictures things sped up; he pictures the end of the lane, the final goal, the trophy ceremony. the hard work blurs, the slow incremental climb to a better version of himself (in whatever respect) is a training monologue edited in later, when he can refer to the period of trying and failing as something more graceful. living with Gou is not as he pictured it, because he's only pictured the final result -- easy conversation, easy company, kisses and hugs and shared outings and shared secrets, becoming even closer than they were as children. he wants to be the first person Gou comes to when she's worried or scared or in love, he wants to help her find her own dreams and passions, he wants to be there for her like a lighthouse beacon instead of a ship constantly leaving the harbor]
[the reality is awkwardness in sharing the bathroom, and Rin feeling guilty about not being home, and sometimes not knowing what to say at dinner. the reality is waking up too early to see her and bickering over who's gonna clean up Nike's latest catastrophe, and kicking Makoto out his bedroom window before first light. the reality is trying to balance his work, with his friends, with the centre, with his training, with his boyfriend, with his sister, and always feeling like he's coming up a little bit short in at least three categories. it's been getting easier, these past few weeks, especially with the pleasant energy of the Kaburagis around, but this is a growing period, the part Rin doesn't focus on in his dreams. Gou may be good at going with the flow, but Rin can only ever strike out on his own current, and he hasn't found his stroke yet]
[but he loves his sister, more than maybe anyone in the world, and even if this isn't what he's pictured, no one can ever say Rin Matsuoka is afraid of working hard at something he loves]
[(there is another familial connection he's been neglecting, though, and although the date doesn't escape him, there is no mark on a calendar, no plan for a commemoration, nothing)]
[in his room, Rin lifts his head when he hears a knock, and the handweights Nagisa bought him last Christmas -- he'll have to get a heavier set soon, excitingly -- are put down on the floor. he's got a workout mat spread on the carpet, some music playing at a considerately low level. he likes unwinding with weight training; he feels calmer after, like it clears his mind]
Door's open. -- Don't let Nike in if he's out there, though.
Hello. I have been informed that I need to figure out who is all on which teams to earn some points. Please respond with your team's color so that everyone may benefit from this as I am doing some detective work to figure out who is on each team.
For instance, I am on the orange team. Please let me know your team's color, thanks.
For instance, I am on the orange team. Please let me know your team's color, thanks.
[ She's over a lot of the time anyway, don't mind her stealing a pair of swim trunks.
He'll get them back tomorrow.
But since that's not everything she's doing, she has to show off the shoes she bought with Gokudera, right? ]
Hey, what do you think? Cute, right?
He'll get them back tomorrow.
But since that's not everything she's doing, she has to show off the shoes she bought with Gokudera, right? ]
Hey, what do you think? Cute, right?
[Rin is a smart boy.]
[easily one of the top ten in Samezuka, possibly one of the top three most ambitious people in Holly Heights. he is smart enough to know how to balance a checkbook, and a time table, and do advanced mathematics and English. he knows more scientific facts than any game of trivial pursuit strictly calls for, and has a remarkable knack for remembering things]
[except when it comes to matters of the heart (and Sousuke is someone he holds so close there, like family, barely a step away from his own sister)]
[so that's how a smart boy like Rin, upon idly checking his phone at the gym, promptly forgets that he is in a public place]
Holy shit -- !
[he also forgets to give a shit about the no cellphones in the weight room thing, and is blithely followed by dozens of surprised or unimpressed stares as he also forgets his gym bag (which contains his keys, wallet, general items of importance) while running out the door]
[ring, ring.]
[easily one of the top ten in Samezuka, possibly one of the top three most ambitious people in Holly Heights. he is smart enough to know how to balance a checkbook, and a time table, and do advanced mathematics and English. he knows more scientific facts than any game of trivial pursuit strictly calls for, and has a remarkable knack for remembering things]
[except when it comes to matters of the heart (and Sousuke is someone he holds so close there, like family, barely a step away from his own sister)]
[so that's how a smart boy like Rin, upon idly checking his phone at the gym, promptly forgets that he is in a public place]
Holy shit -- !
[he also forgets to give a shit about the no cellphones in the weight room thing, and is blithely followed by dozens of surprised or unimpressed stares as he also forgets his gym bag (which contains his keys, wallet, general items of importance) while running out the door]
[ring, ring.]
[it's early on a sunday morning, the sun barely scratching through the curtains on makoto's window--pulled closed earlier during the night in hopes of keeping the light out anyway. it's chilly, though, autumn appeasing the heat wave they suffered through in the summer with cold breeze and low-hanging mist in the mornings, a quiet drizzle of rain barely registering on makoto's ears.]
[he blinks awake and notices his parched throat, and wanting to go to the bathroom. that's probably why he's awake before rin, sleeping in the bed somewhere behind him, a hand holding onto the back of makoto's shirt.]
[after making his way to the bathroom and then the kitchen for a glass of water from the tap, makoto maneuvers his way back into his room through the dim darkness and quietness of the house, past curled up cats and already-awake cats criscrossing around his ankles--to his destination: back in bed. instead of lying on his back and waiting for sleep to get a grip on him again, makoto lies on his side, facing rin, and snuggles up close to his boyfriend, bumping the crown of his head with rin's chin (possibly jostling him awake), but with touch so gentle makoto actually manages to settle comfortably, waiting for the predictable grumbled-out complaint about waking the other up.]
[he blinks awake and notices his parched throat, and wanting to go to the bathroom. that's probably why he's awake before rin, sleeping in the bed somewhere behind him, a hand holding onto the back of makoto's shirt.]
[after making his way to the bathroom and then the kitchen for a glass of water from the tap, makoto maneuvers his way back into his room through the dim darkness and quietness of the house, past curled up cats and already-awake cats criscrossing around his ankles--to his destination: back in bed. instead of lying on his back and waiting for sleep to get a grip on him again, makoto lies on his side, facing rin, and snuggles up close to his boyfriend, bumping the crown of his head with rin's chin (possibly jostling him awake), but with touch so gentle makoto actually manages to settle comfortably, waiting for the predictable grumbled-out complaint about waking the other up.]
[the expected grumpiness doesn't come, today; maybe in other circumstances, where Rin went to bed too late or worked out too hard the day before (not at all uncommon), or something like that. as it is, even as he is unwillfully dragged closer to something resembling consciousness, every sensation is pleasant; the softness of the bed and pillows, the just-right coolness of the sheets, and a warm and firm body pressing close. the only thing he might be able to complain about is the tickle of no doubt stupidly mussed morning hair beneath his chin, but even that has a kind of dumb sentimentality to it, in this disjointed morning moment]
Mmrg...
[well, the grumble part was still accurate; Rin's arm wraps around Makoto, pulling him even closer, though there might be some muscle memory related to more pliable pillows at work here. a leg even hooks around Makoto's, bringing them flush as flush gets (and it's maybe no secret, why Makoto's quite thrilled with Sleepy Morning Rin and less so with Jogging Morning Rin)]
D'nt gettup yet..
[an embarrassing huff of roughly-hewn air, Rin snuggling his face into the mop of brown beneath his chin. it feels soft on his lips and nose, how nice]
Mmrg...
[well, the grumble part was still accurate; Rin's arm wraps around Makoto, pulling him even closer, though there might be some muscle memory related to more pliable pillows at work here. a leg even hooks around Makoto's, bringing them flush as flush gets (and it's maybe no secret, why Makoto's quite thrilled with Sleepy Morning Rin and less so with Jogging Morning Rin)]
D'nt gettup yet..
[an embarrassing huff of roughly-hewn air, Rin snuggling his face into the mop of brown beneath his chin. it feels soft on his lips and nose, how nice]
Edited 2015-09-24 06:09 (UTC)
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